At the one mile mark I was really wondering why I do this at all. I hate to run. If I train for a 5K, I do it by swimming and dancing if I can. And then at the end I was dancing again because it is so fun to do this (and perhaps some coach should tell me that if I am dancing immediately afterward I am not pushing myself enough, but I'm a conservative person who always wants to have enough money for an emergency and enough energy left to dance). And I did this for my friend J.
|Glowing in the blurry backlight, Nov. 2012, |
J is in the middle of six months of chemotherapy for ovarian cancer. She's my age (young!) and single. Every week of her treatment, she posts a photo of herself grinning with her chemo crew-- a different loving friend every time. I know she is struggling, physically and emotionally, but she looks positively radiant (and I don't think it is actual radiation doing it). And the teal in "Tough Enough to Wear Teal" is for ovarian cancer.
My logical self doesn't know how paying to run 3+ miles around town and thereby donate a small amount of money to the American Cancer Society for the fight against ovarian cancer will in any way benefit my friend J*, but my irrational self felt this had to happen, that the synchronicity of the race change to teal, her diagnosis, the Facebook images of her radiant self facing icky treatments, and my resolve to glow this month, was a sign that I must move my large body those three miles and shine while I am doing it.
Maybe I just need to move that distance to remind myself that I can, And when I go far enough, I do glow in a good way. And that we all need some help to be at our glowing best.
Keep smiling, J. You're beautiful and it shows. Keep smiling everyone else. We are beautiful and we can glow.
*And yes, I am working with J to be part of the chemo crew and to act in ways that will directly make her life a little easier.