Ten or Fewer Cigarettes Daily: Advice from Baby Books

While most obstetrical authorities disapprove of smoking twenty-five or more cigarettes daily during pregnancy, "there is no reason for believing that a woman who smokes moderately, let us say ten cigarettes or less a day, need change her custom at this time. If you have been smoking considerably more than this for several years, by no means try to give them up in pregnancy. There is no surer was of upsetting the nerves at a time when you should be calm and happy, or of converting a placid, sweet-tempered girl into an intolerable shrew," (pg. 78).

This I learned from Expectant Motherhood, Second Edition by Nicholson J. Eastman, a book given by my grandmother by her obstetrician when she learned she was pregnant with my uncle Danny in 1954. Expectant Motherhood is completely serious (with the key point being that I should trust my doctor and not the women in my bridge group), full of the kinds of advice mocked in James Lilek's Mommy Knows Worst, a collection of articles and ads about parenthood from the 1950s with modern commentary (given to us by MBiL). It was good to be reminded how very much "scientific" childbirth practices can change in fifty years. This knowledge provided many grains of salt to take while reading modern, serious, childbirth books (reviewed here for my many expectant friends and for my mother who is interested in how this advice changes).

As with Annie Lamott's Operating Instructions (which I haven't read in years), I think potential parents should read Andrea J. Buchanan's Mother Shock. Both books are tales of survival of the first year of motherhood, written when the experiences were raw enough that readers can feel the sleep-deprived desperation, but long enough afterward to be reassuring that one can regain her sense of humor. I don't know when I suggest that people read these books. While pregnant it doesn't seem quite believable that my child and I will have all of these issues (surely my kid will figure out how to latch on to a nipple, how hard can that be?) and while in the midst of sleep deprivation after the child arrives I doubt most mothers want to fill precious reading time learning that they are not alone. In any case, the books should be read.

Of the guides to pregnancy I've seen, I like the formidable, now-classic, What to Expect When You're Expecting the best. The month-by-month layout is clunky when one really wants to look something up, but it can be remarkably reassuring to find out that "shortness of breath or dizziness" and "decreased frequency of urination" are both expected in the 4th month. Or that the normal weight of a 33 week baby is 4 1/2 pounds (Mervivian Alloicious, 33 weeks, was estimated at 4.4 pounds yesterday). The descriptions of various tests are much better than my doctor's, and the diet plans quite sensible. Some on-line reviewers have found What to Expect judgemental and have ridiculed the impossible to follow dietary guidelines. Perhaps earlier editions were different, but I found the non-judgemental "make sure your doctor knows about (cocaine addiction, bulimia, whatever. . . ) so that you can still have a healthy baby" to be irritatingly repetitive (if sound advice). As far as diet goes, the authors do suggest that a pregnant woman should eat lots of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, legumes, lean protein and calcium sources while limiting refined sugars and starches, caffeine and excess fats. Shocking! Radical! Pregnant women should eat a healthy diet! Who would have thought?

I bought Raising Baby Green by Alan Greene because I liked an on-line clip of Dr. Greene explaining food choices that were good for pregnant women and good for the environment. The book is useful, if uninteresting. I'm not sure Greene has enough material to fill a whole book, but his lists are informative (crops which are the most pesticide intensive and thus worth buying organic, differences in labeling on "eco-friendly" paint, where to find hybrid diapers). He makes a strong case for limiting chemical exposures for health reasons, and while I personally find arguments about the whole environment more compelling, he has convinced me that organic cotton during the first week of life when Mervivan's skin is completely porous is a very good thing.

The Expectant Father by Armin Brott and Jennifer Ash was a "gift" for The Mister based on Amazon reviews saying it was the only book for fathers that takes prenatal fatherhood seriously (most apparently are about mocking pregnant women). The Mister has yet to read it, so I can't comment on what he thinks. The book is also supposed to help give insight for pregnant women into what our partners are going through. In my situation, the book failed in this regard. Every time I'd ask the Mister, "are you worried about x this month" he'd look at me as if I were crazy. I admit I usually only asked about the things I thought were unlikely, but learning that the Mister might be thinking about finances or child's education (both of which we discuss regularly, if superficially) could hardly be considered insight into his psyche. The Expectant Father might read better than What to Expect because it does not repeat, over and over, "every pregnancy is different" but the generalizations make it easier to cast aside as silly, even when it does contain a good quantity of good information.
In any case, what I have learned from Mommy Knows Worst is that adult Mervivan will laugh at me that I ever believed all this stuff back in '09.