Sunday, July 5, 2009

Preparation

Now that most everyone I encounter has already learned that we really don't know the sex of our baby* and that he/she is officially due Aug. 5, the most common question I've been receiving is, "Are you ready?"
I have absolutely no idea how to answer this question. I mean except for "Are you crazy? Is anyone ever ready for the end of life as they know it?"** I have no idea how to answer.
Partially it depends on what is really being asked.
Do we have gas in the car and our bags packed? No to both at the moment.
Have I registered with the hospital and do we have an alternate route in case of flood? Yes and sortof.
Am I tired of being pregnant? Yes, mostly.
Am I tired of being pregnant so much that I would rather have an external child right now? No.
Is the nursery painted? Yes, it is a bright yellow and the gorgeous hardwood floors have been revealed (image goes here).
Does the baby have "everything" it needs? No. A bed should arrive this week, I am going to "try on" rocking chairs next weekend. A neighbor brought over a high chair today and I somehow expect that the universe (likely in the guise of my thrift store hunting colleague) will provide a swing in the next month or two. But then I still haven't sat down to count out things like diapers and breast pads and things that will be needed right away.
Does the baby have incredible quantities of stuff? Yes.
Have I been toughening up my nipples, massaging my perineum and doing my Kegel's? Nobody is really asking that.
Is the baby ripe? Statistically, no, and he/she is still head up, so is not ready to come out.
Have we decided on a name? No, although I like Alloicious and Mervivian more all the time. Garbonzetta is still looking good.

However, if, by asking, "Are you ready?" friends are really asking, "Do you have a solid collection of children's books organized on hand in case the baby comes out ready to read novels?" well, to that the answer is an unequivocal YES

(photos of bookshelves go here)

*Not that I would put it past me to lie just so that the baby would receive lovely yellow and medium blue clothes instead of barbie pink or baby blue, but I'm not in this case.

**A dear cousin of mine gave birth in April and honestly thought that sleeping poorly in her third trimester would be preparation for sleepless nights with a newborn!

10 comments:

Debbie said...

I had to look up Kegels. Heard of the 'exercise,' didn't know the official name. This description cracks me up. I'll leave it to your readers to figure out how to locate the muscles. (from a web source:) "Once you have located the muscles simply tighten and relax the mucsle over and over, about 200 times a day. These are basic kegels. There are many variations on kegels: elevator kegels (Where you tighten slowly, in increments going in and out, like an elevator stopping on several floors.), you can hold the muscle tightened for five seconds, you can bulge the muscles out at the end, and many other variations."

The Mister said...

"Do you have a solid collection of children's books organized on hand in case the baby comes out ready to read novels?"
The Tin Drum by Gunther Grass is a solid choice if the baby is ready to read novels, and we have that covered. That novel suggests we have other things to worry about if the baby arrives ready to read novels, however.

Irene said...

I remember getting the same "are you ready?" question, too. And having the same uncertainty as to how to answer, because I wasn't sure in what sense they meant.

Psychologically, you're probably more prepared than many about-to-be-moms, in that you've gotten to hear about the recent experiences of friends and family, as well as reading things like Mothershock and Operating Instructions.

As far as the "stuff" goes, we made the mistake of NOT having everything already on hand - we were planning the last shopping trip Saturday morning and I went into labor Friday night. So, we were still missing a changing pad and bottles and assorted other items that seemed minor beforehand, and suddenly became very important. It added more chaos to the first few days, which are already plenty chaotic... so, I recommend not doing what we did in that respect!

Heather York said...

May I chime in? I am a breastfeeding expert, you know, having taken about 5 hours of a class on that topic and never actually having breastfed anything. Apparently there is nothing you should be doing to toughen up your nipples, other than not using soap around them, because of the oils being produced by areolar glands. It pains me just to think about what you've been doing!

Kegels. Oh, Kegels. I've been trying to do my 100 a day, 10 seconds each, but I find that I cannot multitask other than maybe having the radio or TV on. I actually need to think about them as I do them. They make my toes do weird things, and I fear that I wouldn't be able to talk normally, so trying to do them, say, at the dinner table would be bad news.

This coming weekend I head to MN for a shower to be attended by about 40 extended in-laws, some of whom I'm certain I don't know. (In fact, I know the shower is actually for my mother-in-law, who's always been the "bridesmaid" and never the "bride" for these things, and I'm just the token pregnant lady.) Meanwhile, I researched baby items like crazy - reading reviews, scoping prices, fussing over colors and sizes - to populate my online registries in order to satiate the in-law hoard with hopes that they'll get stuff we want or, at least, get a feel for our tastes. With the shower date looming and very few items having been purchased by someone other than my own mother, I am now convinced we're going to get a ton of knitted booties in pastel pink and still be left without the changing pad, crib sheets, etc.

I'm done looking the gift horse in the mouth - I know I'm horrible.

Erin said...

Have you guys thought about what you will do to your children if you pass down your hatred of pink things? You may be triggering a new era of gender confusion (mostly, other people may be confused about the gender of your baby).

Sparkling Squirrel said...

HY- I am aware that I don't need to toughen my nipples but my mother is a huge advocate (did with one child and not the other and thought the difference was huge).

Erin- For the record, I really like pink. I love pink flowers, some pink girlie dresses and, after the pink year and wearing hot pink chiffon as TT's bridesmaid, I'll admit that a certain shade of hot pink may be my color. I also personally love corals and peaches. However when Irene brought over Annika's old clothes I was rather overwhelmed by the quantity of pink and lavender, and that it was all the same shade. I don't want to confine poor Mervivian to those colors for a year.

Beth said...

I think if you have the basics (see Irene's post for the details) the rest will probably be ok.

I'm struck by the same "what to you mean" feeling with the question I've been getting lately - "are you ready to move?". My first thought being - the house is still on the market - No! But more on that later - other than we are planning on moving to a south suburb where Gavin can get a big yard that he'll share with my garden.

Erin said...

Now I get it...You don't want to have only "baby" pink. That is completely understandable as I much prefer hot pink, coral, and salmon to faded light pink. Why do people assume that babies will only like one boring shade of pink? I should ask my brother what his colleagues in the industry think about this very important issue.

Sparkling Squirrel said...

If one buys dresses, one can find all sorts of nice roses and corals, but in everyday knits and nursery "stuff" it seems to be either very pastel baby pink or bright barbie pink.
I'll be curious what the insider says. Maybe it's so that all of the stuff matches-- one doesn't have to worry about a rose onsie clashing with fucia booties or a salmon sheet and a raspberry crib bumper-- if one were concerned about such things.

Tucson Trekker said...

So are you majorly screwed if you hate Kegels and do about 5 a week?